My advice (for what it's worth).

Red and I were recently reflecting back on what was in our heads when we started down this path to what became The Trifecta.  My answer when we first started the blog now sounds silly and shallow.  Red probably thinks I tried this because I was mesmerized by his good looks, sharp wit, and vast intelligence, which is completely true, of course :)   In retrospect, I think this all came about at a time when I was disgusted with my long history of making boring, predictable, safe decisions, that all eventually ended in failure.  I always thought that by this time in my life, I would have a couple of kids doing great in college, a beautiful house, many friends, and a happy marriage with a spouse who was as satisfied and comfortable in his HUGELY successful career as *I* was.  Except I was underemployed, the kid/step-kids did not want college OR a job, and I found myself going through a nasty divorce, despite YEARS of working hard to prevent it.

It seemed like the ideal time for change.  It really seemed like the best time ever.  Like the ONLY time.   I felt reckless and free!  These two proposing this were normal, sane human beings…self-supporting, brilliant human beings, happy, and satisfied in their marriage.  They could live without this, and were just checking things out…and they wanted ME!   I don’t remember feeling very much pressure, and I thought I should try something new and non-traditional and a little bit risky for a change.  What did I have to lose?

Things went blissfully well from the very beginning, thankfully.  My guess is that things don’t go that well for most people who try this out.  We did not create a list of rules and regulations – we just went with the flow - we are not swingers.  My “I’ll just have a little fun and check this out and have no expectations” turned quickly into “Holy cow…I think I want this for a very long time!”

I can only speak for myself, so I will say it seemed like feelings were hurt all over the place in the beginning.  Any one of us (ok, mostly me) could go from smiling, laughing, and dreaming of the future, to gloomy and pessimistic in no time flat.  We all stuck it out though.  We relentlessly discussed whatever issue was trending  – over and over and over again, until we were all reassured that although things may not be ‘fixed’, we would endure the fallout together.

I wish I had the magic recipe, really, I do.  I wish I could give advice to anyone who was interested in this kind of undertaking.  However, I feel that that our circumstance, like YOURS, is unique.  It will be an new experience for you -  distinctive and challenging in its own way.  You and your partners will laugh and hurt and grow from it, and may or may not survive.  Regardless, you will be a stronger person and partner for that.  FOREVER.  So go take a chance!