Well, of COURSE the honeymoon is over. Were any of us still honeymooning, this far into any other relationship?
(If anyone actually reads this blog more than once, which seems unlikely, maybe they figured the month-long silence after Chloe's last post actually meant the Trifecta was dissolved. It's not.)
Funny: when Chloe wrote that post, she seemed to think I'd be surprised by it. Nope. It's true that I was unhappy on her account that week, but not because she wanted to spend time alone. It was because she was pretending to be okay when she wasn't, and I knew it, and it hurt my feelings that she thought she needed to insulate me from that. All I wanted (ironically) was for her to up and say the stuff she ended up saying here in the blog. How's that for recursive girl-overprotection-of-someone-else's-feelings?!
Anyway. We got past that. It's still the case that real life is distasteful, much moreso than usual, and it's got the Trifecta in a holding pattern. We aren't spending as much time together as we'd like, it's been too long since our last road trip, the quantity of sex is a fraction of what it was. (Quality is still high.) I've had it up to here with ex-spouses, and I'm even exasperated with everyone else's children.
In fact, right now I'm tired of everybody in the world, except for Chloe and Red. Still like my work, at least the patient care part. Am exasperated by my extended family (they lay on the guilt for not spending more time together, but when we do, they lapse into timeworn criticisms and eye-rolls. Which I don't do in return.) Even some of my friends and colleagues are getting on my nerves lately. Common theme = unreasonable expectations.
What I really feel like doing is repeating what I did 25 years ago, when I picked up and moved across country with a boyfriend, scaling back my attachments to family and friends, visiting them rarely. Of course I made new friends, but for a while my life revolved mostly around my partner, and our warm sweet household. What I wouldn't give to run off to the desert and start a new life with my girlfriend and boyfriend. I'd work halfway normal hours, swim in our long narrow pool for an hour every day, cook all the time, fuck like a volcano.
That.
It wouldn't be a honeymoon. We'd know what we already know, that we're each going to want to have holidays from the other now and then. That there will be stretches of time where we're not all feeling wildly in love. But it wouldn't be a problem, because we wouldn't be trying to steal moments together here and there when other people aren't looking.
Maybe that's the ultimate unreasonable expectation: that a Trifecta can thrive in the middle of one's pre-existing condition.
Desert ... desert ... desert ...
