Revelation (this is roughly #52 of my Trifecta revelations)! Lately when something bothers me (which normally brings out a fight or flight response), I have been feeling a gravitational pull towards Missy and Red. I mean an actual tug, like they're letting me know it's ok to just STAY and FEEL. They know that although I'm not running screaming from the room, there are a lot of distressing moments that really do bother me, and while they can't always fix things, or even fully understand what I'm feeling, they want me with them. These two beautiful people just want to be there for me.
I hope to someday deserve all of this...
So there's a theory: part of the reason for the Trifecta Time Warp Effect (TTWE) is the high quantity of Emotional Events Per Unit Time (EEPUT). That stuff that always happens in the early months of a new relationship? Both good and bad? There's WAY more of all of it in a threesome.
ReplyDeleteFor me the uncomfortable moments fall mostly in the "fearful" range: will she leave us, will I say / do something stupid that drives her away or even just makes her feel bad, will Red do something that makes her feel bad, will she do something that makes him feel bad, will I make him feel bad for making her feel bad when really she doesn't feel bad ... you see how this could spiral into feverish panic (imagine me squealing "TTWEEEEEEEEEEPUT!")
But really. If I'm feeling anxious, it makes sense to say so. I'm getting better at doing so on the spot, rather than later or not at all. If one of us is annoyed, or sad, or trying hard not to fart -- really, it's probably best to just let it out. Right?
True - it's not that there's more jealousy or even more complications, but the sheer potential of who might unintentionally do what to whom without even realizing it (times THREE) is mindboggling! We try to have fun with it though...I'm pretty sure it's the best type of challenge to have in a relationship!
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