Epiphany #394

Missy and I had a great evening out at a new lesbian restaurant/bar (new, fun thing), and then met a friend of the Trifecta at a gay bar - we felt comfortable at both places, chatted with many people, and everyone was friendly and fun.  No one wondered what our story was.  It felt great to relax and not be on edge wondering what people thought of us.

(Insert epiphany for the slow girl HERE)

Maybe it's so hard for us to find other people practicing poly-fidelity and MAYBE it's so confusing to people, and MAAAAYBE people react to us poorly (on the few occasions that we have actually noticed) because they don't know what the heck is going on, and it takes them off guard?!

When you see two women holding hands, you can probably assume they are lesbians.  Normal.  When you see two men holding hands, you can probably assume they are gay.  Normal.  When you see the Man and the Woman and the Woman holding hands, what can you assume?  Maybe the guy found two hookers?  Maybe they are swingers?  Maybe it's college students performing a sociology experiment and you are on hidden camera?!  You shouldn't ASK them what they're doing or who they are...you think that might be rude, and your wife would probably slap you because she thinks you are a perv for considering the possibility that SHE might agree to participate in a similar venture.

Maybe people are just freaked out because they never see people like us, and they don't know how to react?  It makes them uneasy, and they turn away?  Remember the first time you saw a lady in a wheelchair, or missing a limb, or with skin a different color than yours?  You probably got a funny look on your face and stared at them, or said something insensitive or mean without realizing it.  Maybe that's what people do when they see us.   Maybe folks have done that to OTHER people like us and it made them hide their relationship (and now we can't find them...even through meetup.com)!

Ohhhhhhh.  That does make sense. 

Note to self:  people who don't know you and don't like you are probably just ignorant - stop taking it personally.