I am striving not to cling TOO desperately to the good times in life and despise the bad. I suspect it is best to live in each moment as much as possible, knowing that the experience will be over soon enough and possibly even forgotten one day - although hopefully not.
Lately, returning in my mind to both the beautiful memories and the tremendous pain I have felt since the birth of the Trifecta has kept my entire being grounded in reality, while still teetering on the brink of fantasy. I can't speak for everyone, but looking back, I feel like we are all now such tremendously different people than we were at the beginning (when we thought we were wise and knew ourselves so well). Back then I imagined there was no way of telling where or who we would be right now.
It is a busy time of year. It is a busy time in life. In all things, I will let myself actually FEEL, so as not to get to the end and realize I was too busy to notice the details. There are moments that I don't want to end and there are times that I wish "it" would all go away, but the impermanence is an equalizing factor. Impermanence brings balance. No decisions will be made in my mind based solely on a single experience or set of similar experiences, because that would surely be representative of only one elevation of the roller coaster we're on.
Until the end, I hope to laugh a little more loudly than I should, cry a little more often, and pause a moment too long before I reply. I will be aware of that strange look that crosses my face when I say something I'm not really sure about, but I will say it anyhow. I will want to be alone when it's best to be around others, and I will likely blurt things out when it's best to keep quiet.
I have faith that it will all work itself out in the end.
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