Trifecta meets chaos.

According to Dictionary.com:

Chaos Theory
Part of Speech:	n
Definition:	the study of unpredictable and complex dynamic systems that are highly sensitive to small changes in external conditions

It says that small differences or miscalculations result in widely diverging outcomes that make the system unpredictable. 

The mistake I made isn’t really important, right?  Of course it is.  But I’m hoping to not be so stupid again, and that we will all look back on it one day and laugh.  For now the best I can do is learn.  I made some miscalculations, and we all suffered the repercussions this weekend.  In the Trifecta at least, little baby miscalculations can and will lead to big scary unpredictability and hugely complex dynamics.

Miscalculation #1:  Men are men are men.   

In retrospect, it occurs to me that some women probably figure this out earlier on in life, and I may be a victim of my history of serial monogamy.  Apparently instead of knowing a little bit about all men, I know a whole lot about a select few.   There ARE men out there with feelings, with souls, with morals that don’t fly out the window the moment a pretty girl (or in this case two, heehee) walks by.  And there is at least ONE out there who can be brilliant both on the job AND after hours.  In some situations, I am learning that Red will rarely react the same way as any other man I have ever known.

Miscalculation #2:  If I have two partners, I will have twice the good and only half the bad. 

Uh…WHAT?  The doctor calls this “magical thinking.”  It is a relationship, not a middle school algebra equation.  If it were an algebra equation, it would be A+B+C=X, which is useless.  When there are highs, they are idyllic.  When there are lows, they are painfully excruciating.  The difference is that with three people you are enjoying the happiness of TWO other people but also suffering their pain and bitterness as well.  I felt the pain I caused one, I felt the pain I caused the other, I felt the pain between the two of them caused by me, and I felt the pain I caused the threesome as a whole.  Repeat after me...holy CRAP.

Miscalculation #3:  If I have an issue with one person in the Trifecta, it is an issue between the two of us. 

Nice try.  Actually in this, everyone is a stakeholder in EVERYTHING about EVERYONE.  We all have different thresholds and opinions.  It's not a matter of 'one deals with one', but more 'one deals with one, and the other, and they deal with each other, and the two deal with the one, and the other two deal with the other one', and so on and so forth.  WOW.   Besides all that, it was a revelation for me that if either Red or Missy made an ultimatum that ended the Trifecta, and it was over an issue that didn’t bother the other person as much, it could cause a huge rift in THEIR relationship.  Strange, but I never thought I’d be that important – I felt that since I was the one who came last, I would be the first to go if there were insurmountable problems.  So once again, it’s just not as simple as one (one=ME) would like to believe.

There are many more mistakes to be made and no way to prepare for them or predict the outcome.  That is really the bottom line.  My conclusion is that we should just accept the chaos, enjoy the good times, work through the bad times, and reap the benefits of being with two other people who seem willing to do the same.  

Bring it on, Chaos - we may just kick your ASS.