No matter what...this too shall pass.

Impermanence. 

I am striving not to cling TOO desperately to the good times in life and despise the bad.  I suspect it is best to live in each moment as much as possible, knowing that the experience will be over soon enough and possibly even forgotten one day - although hopefully not.

Lately, returning in my mind to both the beautiful memories and the tremendous pain I have felt since the birth of the Trifecta has kept my entire being grounded in reality, while still teetering on the brink of fantasy.  I can't speak for everyone, but looking back, I feel like we are all now such tremendously different people than we were at the beginning (when we thought we were wise and knew ourselves so well).  Back then I imagined there was no way of telling where or who we would be right now.

It is a busy time of year.  It is a busy time in life.  In all things, I will let myself actually FEEL, so as not to get to the end and realize I was too busy to notice the details.  There are moments that I don't want to end and there are times that I wish "it" would all go away, but the impermanence is an equalizing factor.  Impermanence brings balance.  No decisions will be made in my mind based solely on a single experience or set of similar experiences, because that would surely be representative of only one elevation of the roller coaster we're on.

Until the end, I hope to laugh a little more loudly than I should, cry a little more often, and pause a moment too long before I reply.  I will be aware of that strange look that crosses my face when I say something I'm not really sure about, but I will say it anyhow.  I will want to be alone when it's best to be around others, and I will likely blurt things out when it's best to keep quiet. 

I have faith that it will all work itself out in the end.

Still crazy after all of these months

It's December and the Trifecta is well into its second year and going strong. Chloe and her daughter have a sweet little dog now and have moved into a nicer apartment. Chloe and Missy are still colleagues at work and that is going pretty well. I'm doing fine as well.

We've overcome a lot of challenges together. one of the nice things about there being three of us is that it keeps us honest. We know that we've got two others to make decisions with, and anything we come up with gets double the scrutiny, and also double the refining. Thusly we make good decisions together.

Each of our experiences of the relationship is rather different. We each get different things from being in this relationship. I love the challenge of being with two women. It occupies my mind and body, it pushes me to be a better man and a more complete individual. I have to be more sweet, more strong, more wise and more clever. And with double the scruinty, I can't get away with mailing it in, ever. The Trifecta keeps me sharp and focused.

I love Missy and Chloe. They are my life. They are my heart. More than anything, I want to deserve them, and keep on deserving them.

Love,

Red